Do you start a diet then break the rules?

It’s common that many people who want to lose weight actually don’t want to be told what do. As soon as they have rules or guidelines in front of them, they dig in their heels. One of our coaches had this exact issue during the week.

Trying to tell the person what or how much they should eat or drink, or what exercise they should do, or how long they should spend sleeping, simply sent the person into a kind of defiance that stopped them from getting the results they want. “You tell me what to do? I’m not going to do it.”

This person said that losing the extra weight was extremely important but at the same time eating some specific foods was also important and one would not be sacrificed for the other. This person had also proven, time and again, that one of the foods that was so desperately ‘needed’ was the exact food that stopped weight loss from happening.

There are people who behave in this way every time they start a diet, even if they’re not taking advice from another person. As soon as they identify the foods they can’t eat, they go out and eat them. In abundance. It’s like they’re telling themselves to go jump in the lake.

Given that this is creates quite a problem for successful weight loss, what can you do to resolve the inner conflict? Life Coach Jaemin Frazer outlines the common mistakes that people make. It all starts with facing up to the problem.

  1. Acceptance. Whether your should or shouldn’t be where you are, the bottom line is that this is your reality.
  2. Vulnerability. Stop hiding (from yourself or others) and let down your guard. Think carefully – What are you rebelling against?
    • It might be the specific foods that you don’t want to eat or, on the other hand, give up.
    • It might be that you just can’t cope with following rules. As soon as you think of what needs to be done, you do the opposite.
    • Perhaps the weight loss you’re aiming for is what you think you should do, rather than what you honestly want to do. The importance of your goal might be difference between doing what’s necessary, or sabotaging your own efforts.
  3. Honesty. Once you’ve identified the source of your conflict, ask yourself why you’re thinking this way. Everything we do has a positive intention: what is the positive reason behind your defiance? Think carefully, deeply and honestly. The reason for the way you behave is in there, and there was originally a good reason for it to develop.
  4. Face up to your reality. If you want something to change, it’s time to face up to the facts and start moving towards change. Acknowledge the original reason for this behaviour, and think about ways you can flow with the positive intention while making a different behaviour choice.
  5. Judgement-free. You’re not a good or bad person based on your weight or the choices you make. Be aware of your behaviour, but avoid judging yourself.

To read more about overcoming fear, insecurity, or sabotaging behaviours, check out Jaemin Frazer’s website. For help with adapting your diet and/or behaviours to enable weight loss, contact your nearest dietflex coach.

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